“This book is for anyone
who wants to know how friendships work and what to do when they don’t,” says the blurb.
And
who wouldn’t want to know about all that?
Few
things are as important as friends and friendship groups to teenager, or as
complicated. Beyond one’s own family circle, how does one learn about the art
of friendship? I feel that the media isn’t always helpful. Films and tv series show
idealised - if not ideal - social groups where, for obvious storytelling
reasons, episodes must be full of heightened interactions and continually
“dramatic” relationships. Real life is more boring and more complicated.
This
book, THE TEENAGE GUIDE TO FRIENDS by Nicola Morgan, is a welcome guide, containing
a wide range of clearly explained information as well as plenty of those simple
“get to know yourself” quizzes beloved by many readers.
The
author, Nicola Morgan, is already well known for self-help books for young
people: see other titles below. Conversations with pupils and staff
in those many schools must surely have led to this latest publication.
In
THE TEENAGE GUIDE TO FRIENDS, she suggests there are many different types of friends. Rather than focusing on the
wish for “one best friend”, she looks at the range of opportunities for friendship
existing within one’s social groups and beyond.
Chapters introduce the importance of
empathy, the psychology of personality types, as well as peer
pressure, group behaviour and the effect of family position. Nicola Morgan writes about the problems that come from
the need for friends including the impact of “negative” friendships to managing
friends online. She introduces the differing needs of introverts and extroverts, whether in school or out in the wider world, and talks about the management of stress and
anxiety.
Wisely, Nicola Morgan suggest that friendships can change, encouraging
the young reader to consider friendship as a range of relationships, not always of
the same intensity or serving the same purpose or lasting for ever.
Over the
chapters, she points out that friendship asks for understanding and that sometimes
one needs to say sorry, or not to take things too personally or seriously. I also liked
how, in one chapter, she promotes the value of just being friendly by acting inclusively towards outsiders within
social situations and lunch-breaks: an outward looking view of friendship, not just a focus on "me."
Nicola
Morgan’s tone is warm and straightforward; she makes it clear that this is a
book of general advice and information, and frequently tells troubled readers
to talk to trusted friends or adults. The last section, which supplies
plenty of helpful addresses, includes warnings about the dangers of misleading articles, unofficial blogs and web-sites.
Best
of all, I felt, was the way that Nicola Morgan tries to give her teenage readers more confidence in managing
their social circles and that intention, in particular, makes her book, THE TEENAGE GUIDE TO FRIENDS, a
useful and an easy read. I’d
say that this title would be a welcome addition to secondary schools self-help
collections, in the library or wherever such books can be quietly and easily
reached by those who need them.
Penny
Dolan.
Ps. Just to avoid misunderstandings, Nicola Morgan does visit
schools frequently and is an established writer of fiction and non-fiction
books.
She is not Nicky Morgan, the past Secretary of State for Education.
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1 comment:
Embarrassingly, I actually badly want that book! I am a huge social outcast been laughed at for years. My friends are my teachers. Sometimes the boundary lines are too thin and I make mistakes. Everyone says I need friends my own age, but it's harder than it sounds when you're in high school and everybody already has their own clique. (Don't worry-I have books to keep me company;)
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